Laughing and Crying
Hazrat Maulana Shaykh Hakeem Akhtar Sahib (db) said,
“To forget about Allah and laugh is a crime, and to forget about Allah and cry is also a crime. For example, if a person cries in the memory of a non-mahram (any person of the opposite gender with whom marriage is permissible) then that person is a criminal in the court of Allah, and that person’s tears are worse than the urine of a donkey because the curse of Allah is descending on those tears. Thus to cry in the remembrance of Allah is an act of worship, and also to laugh in the remembrance of Allah is also an act of worship.”
Source: ‘Ataa-e-Rabbaani pg.35
^ If one is talking about 'romantic love' as the case seems here (and as tends to predominantly be the case for young people), then a little elaboration. 'Crying' (or just distress) over a non-mahram for marriage or with the intention of a Halaal, Islamic marriage, while not preferable, is not the same and is 'alright'. There are examples in Hadith. Being distressed over non-mahrams for non-Halaal or non-Islamic intentions of relationships is what is meant here. However, in most cases where the intention for Halaal is claimed, the reality is not so, and those would fall into this as well. To cry over a person implies remembering them, and if one is remembering Haraam interactions (even looking at the non-mahram, their image), then that qualifies here. And usually the 'heartbreak' (if it can be called that) is due not to Halaal intentions or hopes but due to the severing of a strong attachment formed through Haraam interactions to begin with (i.e, looking at, speaking with, being in private with, etc.). That too will obviously fall under this, though all pain holds the potential to work for spirituality if it is dealt with by repenting for and abandoning the sin in question and turning to Allah for His Mercy to deal with the situation. Leading into the next section of '6 Steps To Deal With (Sensual) Love', also by Shaykh Akhtar, and specifically the 6th step which elaborates more on this... I call it 'Majnun Syndrome'.
Six Steps to Deal With (Sensual) Love
Those who are involved in love affairs (mutual or one-sided) and wish to come out of this trap but cannot do so, should act on the following six points, Insha Allah, they will be freed.
1. Use the himmah (courage) which Allah has given.
2. Make dua’ to Allah to grant you the himmah you need.
3. Ask the special servants of Allah (the Auliyaa and Ulamaa), and especially one’s shaikh or spiritual mentor, or whoever one consults with, to make dua’ for one to attain himmah to leave this sin.
4. Take special care in making zikr.
5. Keep far away physically and mentally from those things that lead a person to sin, i.e. anything or anyone that is attractive.
6. Continuously go in the company of a Shaikh-e-Kamil for one’s reformation.
No matter how bad one’s condition may be or how severe the desires one may have, one should never lose hope. Love is a very great asset provided it is used correctly. The vehicle that has more fuel will cause it to be swifter. All we need to worry about now is to make sure our direction is correct. The fuel for the vehicle of our bodies is love. We just need to channel it properly. If the direction is made correct in the company of some shaikh along with zikr, such people can now reach Allah very quickly. People with no love do not reach Allah in years. Some people engrossed in sin, when they had their love channeled properly, they reached Allah immediately thereafter. They flew in the direction of Allah with the same speed at which they were flying towards the temporary love. Their lamenting, remorse, and weeping carried them in minute from the farsh (earth) to the ‘Arsh (throne).
Ayaaz and the Pearl
Maulana Jalaluddin Rumi (rahmatullahi alaihi) mentions in his Mathnawi, a story of Sultan Mahmood: One day the Sultan decided to test his ministers and ordered them to crush the most prized pearl of his treasury. One by one, each of 65 ministers declined, stating that the pearl was far too valuable to be destroyed.
The King then summoned his closest and trusted courtier, Ayaaz, and ordered him to crush the pearl. Without any delay or hesitation, Ayaaz crushed the pearl into fragments. When the ministers expressed disbelief and shock at such audacity, the King asked Ayaaz to inform them as to the reason for him having broken the pearl.
In response, Ayaaz asked these ministers: “Which is more important, the Royal Decree or the pearl? “
The question we pose to ourselves is:
“Which is more important, the command of my Allah or the haram desire of my heart?”
The haram desires of the heart are akin to pearls, which appear to be quite beautiful but we should not fulfill these haram desires at the cost of breaking the decrees of Allah.
Ayaaz attained closeness to the king through his loyalty and faithfulness and his obedience and submission. Similarly, we will gain the extreme nearness and intimate closeness to the King of Kings through loyalty and faithfulness. This in turn is dependent upon sincere obedience and complete submission to His decrees.
Source: Commentary on Rumi's Mathnavi by Shaykh Akthar (db), English by Maulana Yunus Patel